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  1. Part One: Judas Oswald Superstar If he hadn't been murdered in cold blood by the mobbed up and closeted poodle fondler Jacob Leon Rubenstein, Lee Harvey Oswald would be 74 years old today. As of today he would have been in Show Business for fifty years and as such would have been rolled out in November like the other preserves from the well stocked larder of witnesses, experts, intellectually bankrupt cash grabbing authors and psychopaths, all of whom have some tenuous connection, real or imagined, to Dealey Plaza in Nov of '63. He would be just another person called upon to pontificate on the unsolved murder of a Dumberican President. Because in this alternative universe, not only did he live, he walked... Over the years he might appear on Donahue and Maury and even hit Geraldo so hard with a folding chair, Rivera's comically tragic mustache would fly out the studio window and landing on the face of a young Davis Von Pain, change the boys life forever... Oswald the free man, throwing pies at Jay Leno in a mock motorcade re-enactment, doing a top ten list on Letterman, a Gangnam style dance-a-thon with Conan with a bevy of Vegas Show Girls and then flying home to relax. He might have once knocked a cigarette out of Bette Davis' hand on the Dick Cavet show while re-enacting his arrest, setting fire to the couch. Oh the hilarious trappings of celebrity... The man who walked away from the crime of the century.. But that wasn't what happened was it.. Less than 48 hours after being arrested for allegedly shooting a police officer and later for allegedly shooting JFK, Oswald was dead but his career in show business was just about to get rolling. Years before the "official" story on Oswald would come out, roughly between 2 and 3 pm Dallas time, the press had already caught and convicted their man. Magically furnished with a plenitude of information within minutes of his arrival at the police station, Dumberica and the rest of the world would learn of a "deranged lone nut defector" who had "shot me a President and shot me a cop"..... Ready at hand were pictures, biographies and detailed reports of Oswald and his family, the Soviet deflector, former marine and "nobody" who was under suspicion of killing the president to " make a name for himself ". He wouldn't be formally charged until later that evening and at that without a lawyer, any concrete evidence and without any notes being taken or at least without any notes being preserved. Not only did the police get their man, they were hand delivered an open and shut case. More amazingly, not only were the press immediately allowed within feet of him for the entirety of his brief stay at Hick Central, Jacob "The Poodle Fluffer" Rubenstein was also close at hand and just like the keystone cops, he too had been magically furnished with intelligence information on Oswald, specifically his involvement with "The Fair Play For Cuba Committee". Not a bad break for a human stool like Rubinstein considering FPFC had only two sitting members: Oswald and another man with his picture on Oswald's ID who was sitting in a El Paso, TX jail for only a short while before, robbing a bank he never actually robbed. All of this again within minutes of Oswald's arrest. What are the odds this was all "coincidence"? Was this information furnished to Ruby by virtue of the fact that half the cops on the Dallas police force were bent as pay toilet dimes and hung out at his strip dump? What are the odds? Bad enough the Secret Service had screwed the pooch that week and let JFK get shot like a fish in a barrel, The Dallas Police Hickville Singers would then manage to sodomize the entire puppy mill by letting the press observe Oswald's "transfer" under the spurious caveat that they wanted the public to see he wasn't ill treated. Yeah. The Dallas police really needed to be concerned with their public image at this point in history. Also interesting, none of these exemplary human beings were ever hauled up on charges or named for furnishing Ol' Poodle Rubenstein with this info either... Nut country... Come for the vernacular, stay for the gong show.. What do you expect from Texas hicks but a cluster fudge like this. Ol' Deputy Billy Ray and Cletus Keystone taking public enemy number one for a stroll through the parkade was innocent enough no? Too messy to let Oswald hang himself or get murdered in jail, nope, this had to be an event. Bring the press right to the gibbet and there you have it folks... Cut and dried. Moreover, none of this seemed conveniently expedient in any way. There it all was, the evidence, the motive, a seemingly endless trail of people who would paint this man Oswald as a total nutjob within hours of his arrest. Suddenly everyone in Dallas knew all about Oswald and that in itself is weird for a guy who was a "loner".. He was suddenly the most well known guy around. Everyone was an expert on Oswald. Forget about his intelligence connections, his ability to speak fluent Russian, the fact that he had a state department visa and paid travel expenses...all before the age of 24...Forget about Atsugi and the U2 spyplane kids, not only had he committed the biggest crime in US history since Lincoln was assassinated or the British torched the white house; Oswald had also invented Russian Mail Order Bride.... Of course the press and the rest of the world wouldn't know about these or other Oswald /Rubenstein anomalies until years later, if at all, because like the press and the intelligence community, the public had their man. Too bad that in any proper court of law, had he stood trial with the same "evidence" later provided in absentia, he no doubt would have walked away a free man. Unless of course it was a Hick trial with a Hick judge in nut country....With J. Edna Hoover and Lynda B Johnson presiding... Denied a lawyer, denied his basic constitutional rights and with the evidence as it stood at the time, Oswald would have walked, a free man... right into the arms of showbiz....
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