Judith lost her twelve year fight with cancer on Sunday morning. Several of the nurses at the hospice commented on the peaceful way she died. Apparently, many patients who die of cancer become very angry and agitated during that final period. They also claimed that their loved ones often become very angry and aggressive towards them. I was really surprised by this comment as I could not fault one member of staff who all showed their care and love for Judith and the rest of the family. I do really mean love. It is difficult to explain as the environment created by the hospice is different from any other thing that I have experienced. The hospice was like the world created by William Morris in his book “News from Nowhere”. In a strange sort of way the hospice is like a utopian world, an oasis of love. If only hospitals could be like this. If only society could be like this. If only this forum could be like this.

http://www.stbarnabas-hospice.org.uk/

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." (Norman Cousins)

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” (Mark Twain)

“Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” (Arthur Pinero)

I am sorry to hear that John.

Please accept my condolence for you and your loved ones.

Steve

Mr Simkin,
I'm sorry for your loss and sending my condolences to you and your family.

John,

Sorry to hear about Judith. I'm sure she made you a better person and professional, and was proud of all the things you do. You are a lucky guy to have had such a wonderful wife.

Bill Kelly

John, I sent my thoughts to you privately, but once again here my deep sorrow for you and condolances. Stand some cloudless night soon out of the city and contemplate the stars. We are all star stuff and will all return to star stuff. We all too briefly spend a flickering moment here, and aware of being here. It is rare to have had a great relationship. She lives on in your memory and she is no doubt now a part of your very being. I personally found it amazing you kept up with the Forum during all of what you must have been going through. Peter

John,

All of us here express our condolences and deepest sympathies.

John
I am so very sorry for your loss sir.

Harry

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, John.

You're in my thoughts.

Just a few comments made in the cards and letters I have received:

“We want you to know that dear Judith will be with us always in our hearts and minds, as a very special and wonderful friend, who had unique gifts of warmth and empathy and loving kindness. We are fortunate to have her with us as part of our lives.” (Pat and Fred)

“Judith has been a wonderful, loyal and selfless friend for so many years that I still find it difficult to imagine that I can’t pick up the phone and chat with her about our grandchildren. She had a strength and serenity that made her a very special person.” (Cynthia)

“Judith was such a wonderful woman and bore the illness with incredible braveness. Her warm generous spirit and her sense of fun and her lovely face will always be with me.” (Terry)

“We shall always remember Judith for her gentle nature and optimism. She never once complained or seemed downcast. We are sure that all who knew her loved her for her sunny nature, kindness and hospitality.” (Len and Rita)

“I am very sorry that Judith had to go through such a long and painful illness. Life can be quite merciless in this respect, but she bore it with great fortitude. Judith was always very sweet to me, and I shall remember her for all her kindness over many years.” (John)

“it was a privilege to know Judith. She was such a lovely lady and a strong person and I shall miss her enormously.” (Maureen)

“Judith was loved by all who knew her; kind, pure of heart; a unique lady.” (Rita)

“Judith’s love, kindness and compassion, to say nothing of her sense of humour will live on in our memories.” (Val and Steve)

“Judith was a dear, dear friend who was much loved. She will be greatly missed but not forgotten as she leaves us with many very happy memories.” (Janet and Richard)

“Judith was a wonderful lady with a great sense of humour and a zest for life.” (Janice and Phil)

“She was a really lovely lady with so many good qualities, it would be difficult to mention them all.” (Carole)

“She truly was a remarkable and wonderful lady” (Emma)

John, my heartfelt condolences to you and your Family for your loss.

Judith left this poem for me to find after her death:

Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul that is free?
Miss me a little, but not too long
And not with your head bowed low,
Remember the love
that we once shared
Miss me-but let me go.
For this is a journey
that we all must take,
And each must go alone,
It's all a part of the master plan
A step on the road home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows
in doing good deeds,
Miss me-but let me go.

Very sorry for your loss, John ... you and your family will be in my prayers.

Barb

there are few words that adequately express at times like this. I did not know your wife but by her above words (noticeably absent of fear) its plain to see she was more than prepared for what she faced (as we all shall face one day). She had the time to prepare, emotionally and spiritually -- we can thank GOD you were present during the difficult times and displayed the support a life partner needs during those last moments.... She's on her way to another tomorrow - always beyond the horizon, her thoughts will never leave you, she's in good hands.

Take care John Simkin,
David Healy

amen

We very recently suffered a sudden, immediate family loss..

At such times we are replenished with our memories.

Please, accept our sincere condolences..and prayers..

Moore family.

Although I never met Judith, I feel I have lost something with her passing. I thank you, John, for sharing.

I haven't been to this site for a while so didn't read your sad news earlier. My sincere condolences. What a beautiful poem. I'm going to file it away.

John,

I seldom check any forums on this site other than the JFK and Political Conspiracies ones. Thus, I know I am really late in extending my deepest condolences to you over the loss of your wife.

It certainly sounds like she was a special lady. Again, forgive me for offering such belated sympathy.

Btw, I also think the poem you shared with us was brilliant.

Thank you for your kind comments. Members might wish to know that the St Barnabas Hospice received over £1,250 as a result of my posting about the death of Judith.