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Judith lost her twelve year fight with cancer on Sunday morning. Several of the nurses at the hospice commented on the peaceful way she died. Apparently, many patients who die of cancer become very angry and agitated during that final period. They also claimed that their loved ones often become very angry and aggressive towards them. I was really surprised by this comment as I could not fault one member of staff who all showed their care and love for Judith and the rest of the family. I do really mean love. It is difficult to explain as the environment created by the hospice is different from any other thing that I have experienced. The hospice was like the world created by William Morris in his book “News from Nowhere”. In a strange sort of way the hospice is like a utopian world, an oasis of love. If only hospitals could be like this. If only society could be like this. If only this forum could be like this.

http://www.stbarnabas-hospice.org.uk/

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"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." (Norman Cousins)

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” (Mark Twain)

“Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” (Arthur Pinero)

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I am sorry to hear that John.

Please accept my condolence for you and your loved ones.

Steve

Judith lost her twelve year fight with cancer on Sunday morning. Several of the nurses at the hospice commented on the peaceful way she died. Apparently, many patients who die of cancer become very angry and agitated during that final period. They also claimed that their loved ones often become very angry and aggressive towards them. I was really surprised by this comment as I could not fault one member of staff who all showed their care and love for Judith and the rest of the family. I do really mean love. It is difficult to explain as the environment created by the hospice is different from any other thing that I have experienced. The hospice was like the world created by William Morris in his book “News from Nowhere”. In a strange sort of way the hospice is like a utopian world, an oasis of love. If only hospitals could be like this. If only society could be like this. If only this forum could be like this.

http://www.stbarnabas-hospice.org.uk/

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Judith lost her twelve year fight with cancer on Sunday morning. Several of the nurses at the hospice commented on the peaceful way she died. Apparently, many patients who die of cancer become very angry and agitated during that final period. They also claimed that their loved ones often become very angry and aggressive towards them. I was really surprised by this comment as I could not fault one member of staff who all showed their care and love for Judith and the rest of the family. I do really mean love. It is difficult to explain as the environment created by the hospice is different from any other thing that I have experienced. The hospice was like the world created by William Morris in his book “News from Nowhere”. In a strange sort of way the hospice is like a utopian world, an oasis of love. If only hospitals could be like this. If only society could be like this. If only this forum could be like this.

http://www.stbarnabas-hospice.org.uk/

John

I am so very sorry for your loss sir.

Harry

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Just a few comments made in the cards and letters I have received:

“We want you to know that dear Judith will be with us always in our hearts and minds, as a very special and wonderful friend, who had unique gifts of warmth and empathy and loving kindness. We are fortunate to have her with us as part of our lives.” (Pat and Fred)

“Judith has been a wonderful, loyal and selfless friend for so many years that I still find it difficult to imagine that I can’t pick up the phone and chat with her about our grandchildren. She had a strength and serenity that made her a very special person.” (Cynthia)

“Judith was such a wonderful woman and bore the illness with incredible braveness. Her warm generous spirit and her sense of fun and her lovely face will always be with me.” (Terry)

“We shall always remember Judith for her gentle nature and optimism. She never once complained or seemed downcast. We are sure that all who knew her loved her for her sunny nature, kindness and hospitality.” (Len and Rita)

“I am very sorry that Judith had to go through such a long and painful illness. Life can be quite merciless in this respect, but she bore it with great fortitude. Judith was always very sweet to me, and I shall remember her for all her kindness over many years.” (John)

“it was a privilege to know Judith. She was such a lovely lady and a strong person and I shall miss her enormously.” (Maureen)

“Judith was loved by all who knew her; kind, pure of heart; a unique lady.” (Rita)

“Judith’s love, kindness and compassion, to say nothing of her sense of humour will live on in our memories.” (Val and Steve)

“Judith was a dear, dear friend who was much loved. She will be greatly missed but not forgotten as she leaves us with many very happy memories.” (Janet and Richard)

“Judith was a wonderful lady with a great sense of humour and a zest for life.” (Janice and Phil)

“She was a really lovely lady with so many good qualities, it would be difficult to mention them all.” (Carole)

“She truly was a remarkable and wonderful lady” (Emma)

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Judith left this poem for me to find after her death:

Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.

Why cry for a soul that is free?

Miss me a little, but not too long

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love

that we once shared

Miss me-but let me go.

For this is a journey

that we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It's all a part of the master plan

A step on the road home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart,

Go to the friends we know.

And bury your sorrows

in doing good deeds,

Miss me-but let me go.

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Judith left this poem for me to find after her death:

Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.

Why cry for a soul that is free?

Miss me a little, but not too long

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love

that we once shared

Miss me-but let me go.

For this is a journey

that we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It's all a part of the master plan

A step on the road home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart,

Go to the friends we know.

And bury your sorrows

in doing good deeds,

Miss me-but let me go.

there are few words that adequately express at times like this. I did not know your wife but by her above words (noticeably absent of fear) its plain to see she was more than prepared for what she faced (as we all shall face one day). She had the time to prepare, emotionally and spiritually -- we can thank GOD you were present during the difficult times and displayed the support a life partner needs during those last moments.... She's on her way to another tomorrow - always beyond the horizon, her thoughts will never leave you, she's in good hands.

Take care John Simkin,

David Healy

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amen

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