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HAYDELL: A Modern Folk Tale Part III

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HAYDELL: A Modern Folk Tale

Part III: A Thanksgiving Dinner That Couldn't Be Beat

It was a typical mild November night in this part of the country. Haydell put

down his book and leaned back in the chair. It was a rare moment of


He was losing himself to gain something more. Thoughts danced like

fireflies. Right now, His mother. They had always communicated in code.

Mother - son code. More impenetrable than any other. Maybe Half Brother

would tell him the truth about her tomorrow.

He wasn't counting on it.

This strange path: how the Marines had smoothed out all those little

technicalities which should have prevented his dependancy discharge.

The flight from London to Helsinki. On route to Moscow for a two to

three day mission before leaving for the Humber Swizzeller College.

An offer to stay, and how that had to look to the outside world. Goodbye

Humbert Swizzeller! The staged confrontation in the embassy with

Snydley and that chubby Half-Hard exchange student they'd brought

down as a witness. Name of Eduardo Keelhaul. The interview he

granted Keelhaul's colleague, Miss Prissy. Two and a half years in Micks.

White Russians. Latinos. The meeting with that old dame, Maddy Jeckyl.

Marrying. The birth of a daughter. The trip back from the Cold. Writing

The Kollection. The visit to New York. Finally, in Fort Mirth. That first

meeting with Josef Von Baronchildt. How Haydell had told Von Baronchildt

never to bring Colonel Allove again. Gave Haydell the creeps. Noone

even knew whose side he was really on. Moreover, noone

seemed to care. Doubles. Triples. All part of the game. The only thing

that mattered was being a player.

This one time though, Allove's presence had been deemed necessary.

He was expert in KBG techniques. He got Haydell's wife to open wide.

He probed with some little dental instrument. He found what he was looking


A CYA approved dental clinic appointment was arranged for the removal of the

transister. The cover story: bad teeth. All past photos of her smiling destroyed.

Before long: Thanksgiving. A reunion of the boys and their families.

The real reason:

Haydell's wife (a hospital pharmacist back in Micks) and Half Brother

debriefed on the work they had done for their respective governments;

drugs, radiation, hypnosis, interrogation techniques, the gamut and the

pinnacles of Cold War wet dreams.

Half Brother was taking no chances, despite the assurances that Haydell's wife

was now a "cleanskin".

He insisted the discussion be in writing.

He also gave a simple demonstration. Called his own wife over. She was

oblivious to his true USAF work. She, a daughter of Eastern Bloc


He said the "trigger" word. Handed her the notebook.

She filled the page writing her name. Never would remember doing it.

Then they all ate a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat.

Though some say Snydley suffered wiplash in a Rickshaw accident in

Shanghai, this pleasing account of his fate remains unconfirmed, and

it is more likely that his career ran it course without further excitement.

Keelhaul became a Professor of Russian Studies back at Half-Hard.

Miss Prissy wrote a book about Haydell and his wife: a masterpiece of


Von Baronchildt got older, but not wiser. Given shock treatment to erase his

dangerous memories. Finally, number him another "suicide" on the wrong

side of giving testimony to an official inquiry.

Allove wrote a book on guerilla warfare. lectured at a college Haydell's wife

would attend in 1965.

Her new friends wanted her to learn English.

Well, why else would she be attending college? And if she happened to

run into Allove on campus... wouldn't that be a happy



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