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WORK! the perfect personality for the job.


Guest Stephen Turner
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Guest Stephen Turner

MODEL, One with the ability to walk a straight line while clothed.

SUPER MODEL, As above, but with an expense account, and a coke habit.

STOCK BROKER, Has the ability to shout loudly and wave peices of paper, whilst waring a bad suit.

TRADER, As above, slightly better suit.

MOVIE ACTOR, Special effects substitute, Product placement enabler.

TABLOID JOURNALIST, Alcoholic belly crawler, cheerleader of Socital apocalypse in a vomit flecked shirt. A Belicose, jingoistic fossil,a joyless sycophant, a suicide by proxy.

ESTATE AGENT, Parasitic creature in sub-Human form, purvayor of vastly overpriced London broom closets to overpaid idiots ( see stock brokers, and traders)

TV PRESENTER, Ex regional journalist with good posture.

POLICEMAN, Brutalist form filler, legalised boy racer.

NURSE, Underpaid professional hand washer, punchbag for monosylabic Saturday night p*** heads

TEACHER, Underpaid professional league table compiller, and educational shelf stacker, occasional punchbag for feral drug abusing hooded Yoofs

SOCIAL WORKER, Underpaid professional busy-body, an applier of band aids to decapitations, occasional punchbag for dysfunctional Wife beating, Child abusing, beer swilling, brain dead Nazi rejects.

AIRLINE PILOT, Alcoholic suicidal white Male,a puffed up bus driver in a smart uniform.

LIFE COACH, A gurning, money obsessed Psychotic,who thinks saying "No pain no gain" is a modern form of Homeric wisdom.

CELEBRITY LIFE COACH, As above, but MUCH richer.

ENGLISH CRICKETER, A woeful collection of pug-ugly, under achieving, bat waving, pudgy Mummies boys. The natural prey of the fearsome "Criketus Australius"

ENGLISH FOOTBALLER, A mumbling, overhyped millionaire, and potential rapist, a one footed, slack jawed, shaven headed tailors dummy. The natural prey of the uber efficient "Footballus Germanicus"

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. A semi evolved, God bothering cretin with a messianic complex, a reverse Robin Hood, a fear salesman with tax collecting responsibilities, an Ape grinning serial killer, a draft dodging, over indulged business failing rich boy,a person promoted so far above any natural ability as to prove the saying "In America anyone can become President", A pip squeak, a mental dwarf, a lazy good for nothing, a bragging bully boy, a strategically shaved Monkey in a shiny suit, a loud mouthed moraliser, with no morals, an Election thief, and a sly cheat.

BRITISH PRIME MINISTER, Rictus faced Hand maiden to the above.

BUSINESS CONSULTANT, A Vampiric amoral oaf, a pot bellied,self obsessed know nothing with a brain stuffed full to bursting point with gobbeldygook management speak, and expense accounts. A collector of tax payers money with predatory, priapic glee.

INTERNAL SALES EXECUTIVE, See the dictionary definition of "POINTLESS"

DENTIST, A person with a Government licence to print money for causing pain,a swivelled eyed, prole baiting masocistic wet dream in a blood stained white smock.

VENTURE CAPITALIST, Final proof, if any were needed of the non existance of God,a person of such stagering greed and venality, and mind bending self love, that Satan would reject them for fear of giving Hell a bad name, bloated anti-Humans whose very existance is a crime against Nature.

CELEBRITIES, A fame addled, talent free zone, lower on any scale of social worth than a crack whore, with a rampant venerial disease, a self serving vacuum headed, dead eyed simpleton in a million dollar dress/suit. Good only for target practice.

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