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John Cleese’s “Letter to America”


Myra Bronstein
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"Dear Citizens of America,

In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

...

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad."

http://starrgazr.wordpress.com/2008/02/15/...ter-to-america/

We're working on it John. Glad you're not buying the official story.

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"Dear Citizens of America,

In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

...

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad."

http://starrgazr.wordpress.com/2008/02/15/...ter-to-america/

We're working on it John. Glad you're not buying the official story.

British democracy, Myra, is currently as vibrant as the Norwegian Blue in the Python sketch.

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Nonsense!

America is merely fagged out after a prolonged squark.

:unsure::lol: :lol:

That is the funniest expression I've ever heard Charles.

It's from the (in)famous "Parrot" sketch.

"He's not dead. He's resting."

OHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Even better.

A brilliant application of a priceless quote.

Didn't catch it. My bad.

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"Dear Citizens of America,

In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next.

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

...

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad."

http://starrgazr.wordpress.com/2008/02/15/...ter-to-america/

We're working on it John. Glad you're not buying the official story.

British democracy, Myra, is currently as vibrant as the Norwegian Blue in the Python sketch.

And now I belatedly understand your comment Paul.

Thanks for the report from that front on the moribund status of British democracy.

As the UK goes, so go the colonies.

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And now for something completely anticipated:

Link to the "Parrot" sketch:

http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/jokes/monty-python-parrot.html

(And it's "shagged out".)

And now for something tangentially related:

http://www.rickyhitmanhatton2.com/video/vi...ns-funeral.html

Of course the cultured moderati of this Forum would not permit publication of a transcript.

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And now for something completely anticipated:

Link to the "Parrot" sketch:

http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/jokes/monty-python-parrot.html

(And it's "shagged out".)

And now for something tangentially related:

http://www.rickyhitmanhatton2.com/video/vi...ns-funeral.html

Of course the cultured moderati of this Forum would not permit publication of a transcript.

RIGHT!!!

But I sorta snuck it on here...

Oh, you miss nothing Mr. Drago.

Edited by Myra Bronstein
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Too bad no American comedian will ask that question.

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Guest Stephen Turner

Mr William Hicks, comedy God.

"We keep killing the wrong People, Lennon, assassinated, Gandhi, assassinated, the Kennedy brothers assassinated, King assassinated....Reagan.....Wounded."

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