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Why Robert Green does not play for England


John Simkin

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Tuesday, 1st April 2008

By: Staff Writer

England boss Fabio Capello has been speaking about his reluctance to pick Hammers' 'keeper Robert Green in his squads.

Green, known ironically by fans as 'England's No.6' only made the last squad when injuries forced Capello to include him despite the appalling form of those ahead of him in the queue.

Speaking to Italian newspaper Gazetta Del Corleone last night, Capello explained:

"When I first went to watch West Ham I noted that Green had long, uncombed hair and he hadn't shaved.

"I found this disrespectful. It dishonoured the fans, it dishonoured me, it dishonoured my family. I give my players freedom but I teach them never to dishonour my family.

"I met with Green to explain my position and I asked him to tidy himself up but he refused. I told him refusal was not the act of a friend".

On finally relenting and picking Green for the squad for last week's match against France, he added:

"I called Green and made him an offer he couldn't refuse. I told him 'Some day - and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me.

"Until that day accept this justice as a gift because I'm running out of goalkeepers until Cudicini's naturalisation papers come through"

Robert Green was unavailable for comment at the time of writing.

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Guest Gary Loughran

One of the weaker April Fool's by KUMB in recent years. On a few occassions, over the years, they've had the mainstream press pick up on some of their pranks and report them.

I think they also floated the plastic pitch one again this year....I'm fairly certain this was used some years ago.

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One of the weaker April Fool's by KUMB in recent years. On a few occassions, over the years, they've had the mainstream press pick up on some of their pranks and report them.

I think they also floated the plastic pitch one again this year....I'm fairly certain this was used some years ago.

I thought it was very funny, especially the use of Mafia language.

"I called Green and made him an offer he couldn't refuse. I told him 'Some day - and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me.

"Until that day accept this justice as a gift because I'm running out of goalkeepers until Cudicini's naturalisation papers come through"

Fabio Capello has got a record for caring about the appearance of his players. He has in the past ordered players to have their hair-cut.

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