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Statement on the Kennedy Assassination

John Simkin

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I knew I was taking risks when I decided to write about the Ku Klux Klan. This really upset them when my page outranked the official Ku Klux Klan website. They were not aware that the constant references to me on their Web Logs only increased my website ranking.

I even survived the decision to write about the corrupt activities of J. Edgar Hoover. Retired FBI agents organized a mass-mailing campaign against me. This included a smear campaign that they had evidence that it was me, rather, than Hoover who dressed up in women’s clothes. However, with Hoover dead, they had little power to do me any lasting damage.

I also survived my attacks on the Iraq War and Tony Blair and his role in the death of David Kelly. In fact, this was not a risky operation as it is well known that Blair and MI5 spend little time surfing the web.

However, I clearly went too far when I decided to investigate the Assassination of John F. Kennedy. Luckily, for me, now they kill off the website rather than the man himself. Over the last 24 hours I have been involved in detailed negotiations with my internet provider. As a result of these talks I would like to issue a statement.

“I wish to deny that I have discovered any evidence that the CIA were involved in the death of John F. Kennedy. After looking at all the evidence I am now convinced that Kennedy was killed by a lone gunman, Lee Harvey Oswald.”

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The statement seems to have worked and my website is now back online.

I apologise to all those who might have wanted to use the materials yesterday.

Welcome back :)

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