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Ofsted Visits

John Simkin

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  • 7 months later...

Richard Hamilton has posted this message to the Linguanet Forum at


Headed: "Doing it the right way"

My wife and I have belatedly realised that the DfES / Ofsted view of human interaction is correct and we have therefore decided to make certain changes to our love life to harmonise our activities with this grand scheme. The following procedure will now apply, effective immediate :

1. All "activity" will be planned well in advance and mapped against our SOM ( = Scheme Of Marriage ). The SOM will be available in electronic form only.

2. A laptop will be positioned either side of the bed for the ICT element.

3. Observation by a third person will occur regularly. (!)

4. There will be a starter, main bit and plenary ( cigarette ? )

5. A variety of styles will be expected, none lasting more than 10 minutes.

6. Opportunities for self and peer assessment throughout the activity should be, er, embedded.

7. There must be clear outcomes ( sorry...) showing how we have moved on or, indeed, whether the earth moved.

8. An evaluation sheet ( "How was it for me?" ) will be completed afterwards.

9. Performance will be graded using the 4 point Ofsted scale.

10. Any more than 2 "Unsatisfactories" per year will initiate competence proceedings ; blaming fatigue or last thing Friday will not be acceptable.

I know we will be more fulfilled with this regime.

Just off to send her an e mail...

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