Bob Woolmer

[Guest David Guyatt]

MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION INDUCTION UPDATE

Some of the good 'ol boys from Langley (and their friends in the Petagon and elsewhere) have developed one of those little Monty Python machines that go ping! The purpose of these machines, amonst other things, is to remotely cause myocardial infarction.

The technology to do this has been around for decades. Back in the early 1980's it was known simply as a Radio Frequency Radiation (RFR) and was a research project aimed at building a weapon that would "interrupt, degrade or direct [the] human central nervous system. "Directing", of course, merely meant the remote ability to make people do something they are not planning to do themselves. This involved projecting "voices inside the head" -- or, in other words, God speaking to you via the Pentagon. The same weapon could also interrupt or degrade physiological functions such as cardiac output and respiration. In this sense "degrade" simply means stop, cease, end, halt or terminate, as in terminate the ol' ticker.

When anyone of significance dies of a common or garden heart attack these days, it is wise to consider if it was from natural causes or the machine that goes ping!. Personally, I continue to have serious doubts about the sudden death of Labour Party leader John Smith, who's convenient heart attack in 1994 made way for Tony Bliar to assume the role of smiley-feely dicatator.

Smith was a Scot like Tony Blair and Gordon Brown.

I also harbour just a teeny amount of suspicion about Labour former Foreign Secretary and Cabinet member Robin Cook, who died from a sudden heart atack (I suppose there are no unsudden ones are there), two years after resigning from the government in protest over Bliar's decision to go to war in Iraq. Cook was also a Scot.

I have nothing against Scots, mind you. Nothing at all. I was brought up on porridge and scotch (although I never got around to wearing a skirt, I have to admit). Other significant Scots include:

Ming Campbell, leader of the LibDems.

Ditto, David Cameron, leader of the Conservatives,

Ditto, Ian Duncan Smith, former leader of the Conservatives,

Ditto, Charles Kennedy, former leader of the Lib Dems

Ditto, David Steele, former leader of the LibDems.

Well, there are so many ditto's in Westminster it gets confusing.

I wonder if Alaistair Campbell, Bliar's former spin doctor, might one day suffer from a heart attack? He is a Scot, too. And he would appear to know a lot about the death of Dr. David Kelly. Kelly, thank God for variety, was not Scottish, but Welsh, which makes a nice change. Just as former Conservative leader, Michael Howard is Welsh. But Paddy Ahsdown, former leader of the LibDems is Irish (and MI6).

And none of them has had a myocardial infarction. Yet.

With so many kelts in prominent positions in government, a hearty thank God for our German Queen, I say.

David

PS, I would also watch out for John Major who, surprisingly, is English. But he loves cricket and may, therefore, be next in line for an involuntary myocardial infarction update (Mind you, as he is an executive in the Carlyle Group he is probably safe). Major came to political prominence following a career as an executive at Standard Chartered Bank, which for those of you who don't know is a Scottish bank. The original Standard Bank of British South Africa was formed by Scot, John Patterson, later merged with the Chartered Bank of India, that was formed by James Wilson, also a Scot and formed Standard & Chartered Bank. It's sister bank is HSBC, a bank that is so Scottish that there's a thistle growing up the fundament of the most senior executives (and you don't get to be a most senior exec unless you do have that thistle in place!).

[Michael Chapman]

Seems like my quick quiz question went down like the ton of cold sick that Woolly left all over his bathroom wall (the cold sick that contained blood according to pathologist Dr Jephthah Ford as reported in the Jamaica Gleaner on the 24th March). Not a peep, not even out of Mr 'Undivided Attention' Stapleton. It's beginning to look like you dirty monkeys only log on to ogle my Sky totty...

OK I'll put you loafing lecturers out of your shame and ignorance: the answer was (ii). Going by all media accounts, Woolly's cadaver was poked and prodded by no fewer than five forensic pathologists on SIX separate occasions. Somewhat surprisingly, the only post mortem which all the mainstream media gave the same time, date and place for was autopsy number one - the one undertaken by the 'incompetent' Dr Seshaiah Ere.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Dr Ere performed the 'first' post mortem on Bob Woolmer on Tuesday 20th March, commencing at 9.35 am and concluding at midday (so, no citations needed, Sid!). Some of the content's of Woolly's stomach and tissue were removed for toxicology and histology tests. The police then contacted Gill Woolmer (Bob's widow) at around 12.35pm (please remember this fact those of you dozing at the back of the class).

By Thursday 22nd March both local and international media talked of the post mortem as having been 'botched.' The principal accuser here appeared to be another Jamaican forensic pathologist, Dr Garfield Blake, President of the Jamaican Association of Clinical Pathologists (Jamaica Gleaner 23rd March).

Dr Garfield Blake - knows a botched autopsy even when he hasn't seen one..

But, bizarrely, the previous day, Jamaica Police's Deputy Commissioner Mark Shields pronounced Woolly's death as 'suspicious' and another (anonymous) officer was sufficiently confident of Ere's findings to publicly announce that Woolly's death was a 'homicide' (Jamaica Gleaner 22/3) and that a formal investigation was already underway. Again, these facts and dates were widely reported.

And this is where we come to the mysterious second autopsy. The British media variously reported that Dr Ere was about to perform/had performed a second autopsy on Bob Woolmer. This is what The Sunday Times said as recently as the 3rd June:

"[Jamaican patholigist] Seshaiah said after his initial autopsy that the cause of death was inconclusive. When he reexamined the body, he decided Woolmer's death was the result of “asphyxiation as a result of manual strangulation”, pointing to bruises in tissues of the neck.

So did Ere, in fact, do a number two? Even Seshaiah's chums in the crowded, cut throat world of Jamaican forensic pathology didn’t seem to know going by informed quotes in The Jamaica Gleaner on the 23rd and 24th March:

Dr. Ford questioned whether a second post-mortem was done since the first one was said to be inconclusive. (23/3)

Dr. Ere Sheshiah, who conducted the post-mortem on Woolmer, is hired by the Government.

"This is possibly why it might be difficult to get him to speak - to find out if a second post-mortem was even conducted and if another report was filed," said a medical doctor. (24/3)

The Jamaica Gleaner on the 22nd March published this release from police spokesman Karl Angell (issued barely 24 hours after Ere’s ‘initial autopsy’):

"Following consultations today (yesterday) involving representatives from the Government of Jamaica and the police, a decision was taken to seek the opinion of a second pathologist," the release said.

The Times on the 23rd March (and much of the media) reported that this pathologist would be an American:

As his widow said for the first time that she could not rule out murder, an American pathologist arrived in Kingston to conduct a second postmortem examination.

Wikipedia goes so far as to have Lucius Thomas (Commissioner of Police) confirming on Thursday 22nd March that said American pathologist (who has never been identified) had already performed the second autopsy (but there is no citation to support this claim).

Seeing as the issue here is what was REPORTED as opposed to what actually happened I hereby decree we're up to post mortem number 3.

Deputy Shields and Commissioner Thomas: clearly bewildered by the alarming rise in the autopsy rate.

As you'd expect, the fog of confusion surrounding autopsies two and three was still swirling about when an announcement was made on...(pick a date anytime between March 22nd and say, er, June 2nd) that a (British) Home Office pathologist was going to be called in to do post mortem number 4. This pathologist even had a name - Dr Nat Carey.

But veteran Woolly watchers will be relieved to know that the Jamaican authorities have a belt and braces approach to all things 'inconclusive'. The West Indies Cricket Board website on the 12th June revealed the names of two other pathologists who were also called in:

Subsequently, professional opinions were sought from Professor Lorna Martin, Chief Specialist for Forensic Pathology Services for the Western Cape, South Africa, and Dr. Michael Pollanen, the Chief Forensic Pathologist for Ontario, Canada.

The site goes on to reveal the findings of these post mortems (5 & 6) which were to shock the world:

Both Martin and Pollanen concurred with Cary's (sic) view that Woolmer had died of natural causes.

Carey's findings (that Bob Woolmer had succumbed to myocardial infarction probably brought on by wicked Sky temptress, Denise Nurse!) was broken on the 13th May in The Jamaica Gleaner and reported in detail in The Times on both the 15th & 20th May as well as other media.

Carey's report convinced the Jamaican Police that Bob Woolmer had not been murdered and at a press conference held at 4.00pm on Tuesday 12th June they announced that they were formally closing the case file.

The Special Press Conference Task Force of The Jamaican Constabulary are also bewildered - by the alarming rise in the number of press conferences they have to attend.

So there you have it folks: SIX post mortems. Which leads me nicely to today's quick quiz question. Before I give it to you I will take this opportunity to warn all you ogling loggers who are just here for the totty that you will be rewarded with a ‘hunk of the month’ instead of a ‘ SKY babe’ if you fail to participate. OK here goes…

How many post mortems were ACTUALLY performed on Bob Woolmer?

MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION INDUCTION UPDATE (2)

With Sky 'Weather' comes Sky 'News' (well, of a sort). I have it on good authority that Anna Botting (daughter of honourable, ancient explorer, Douglas) was on autocue duty that morning:

Anna Botting: was it the combination of her on screen mumsiness, overdeveloped sternocleidomastoids and risqué monicker that proved fatal for our Woolly?

Edited June 30, 2007 by Michael Chapman

[Mark Stapleton]

How many post mortems were ACTUALLY performed on Bob Woolmer?

What are the options?

Doesn't matter, I'll say seven.

Michael, your presentation on this to be quite fascinating, although promised photos of Sky weathergirls have been disappointingly few and far between.

Still, what's the motive for murdering Woolly? Was he going to spill the beans on Pakistani match fixing or is there more to it?

[Michael Chapman]

Mr Stapleton,

Your prompt (but incorrect) reply has spared you (and others) the sight of Francis Wilson in his Y Fronts.

I cannot disclose the reason yet why Woolly was bumped off because first of all I've got to prove that he actually was. And that means citations for every bloody minor detail or I'll have Sid Citation Walker on my case. So you can blame him (I hope he's watching).

Don't worry, lots more totty to come - including Denise in a bikini!

Regards,

Chappers

[Guest David Guyatt]

"So did Ere, in fact, do a number two?"

Ha, ha, ha.

I also would like to know the motive for the involvement of ISI types and also think it must be to do with the gambling industry. Wasn't there the case of a famous South African cricketer (Hansie Cronje) who came clean about match fixing in 2000 and then promptly went and died two years later in June 2004?

But at least that was a plane "accident" not myocardial infarction.

David

[Michael Chapman]

And here is the answer that you least expected:

there was only ONE autopsy.

So as to leave you in no doubt let me repeat that:

UNE autopsie, UNO autopso, EINE kleine nacht autopsenen (OK, I couldn't resist the 'nacht' bit)

The ONE and only autopsy was the 'first', 'botched' and 'inconclusive' examination of the cadaver formerly known as Robert Andrew Woolmer carried out by Dr Seshaiah Ere on Tuesday 20th March from 9.35am till noon.

The full low down in my next post (you think this is bad - wait till we get to the toxicology 'tests').

MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION INDUCTION UPDATE (No 3)

My Sky News Centre mole tells me that a certain Gillian Joseph was also pouting at the autocue sometime on Sunday 18th March...

Gillian Joseph: did this sultry, serotonin deficient dominatrix trigger Woolly's fatal fantasy?

Edited June 30, 2007 by Michael Chapman

[Guest David Guyatt]

Fascinating.

[Michael Chapman]

The media coverage of Woolly's 'multiple' autopsies bears at least two of the hallmarks common to coverage of conspiracy cases: endless recycling and outright contradiction. This clipping from The Hindustan Times of the 28th March exhibits both:

Deputy Police Commissioner Mark Shields has said that an independent second autopsy will be conducted on slain Pakistani cricket coach Bob Woolmer's body to be sure about facts before making any arrests.

"If we arrest someone this week and charge them, the defence council will want a second post-mortem, the jury may want a second post-mortem," Shields was quoted as saying by the Mirror.

Woolly in his pomp: if he'd had an inkling then about the confusion to come over his botched autopsy he would have had a heart attack.

The attentive 'ear holes' at the front of the class will notice the 'recycling' engraving on the base of this slightly tinny story (for the benefit of those sitting at the back who prefer to fire ink pellets, The Times of the 23rd March reported that an 'American' Pathologist had already arrived in Kingston to carry out a second autopsy).

But what the teacher's pets amongst you might not have noticed was the contradiction faintly etched on the handle of this episode. The conflicting account ran on the AFP newswire on the very same day that The Hindustan Times was doing its bit for the environment (sorry, couldn't resist the feeble wordplay on 'recycling'):

Jamaica's deputy police commissioner Mark Shields on Wednesday denied media reports that a second autopsy would be performed on the body of Bob Woolmer. "I can assure you there is no post mortem, there is no planned second post mortem," Shields was quoted by AFP.

One might have expected Shields to say that there was not going to be another autopsy because a second independent post mortem had already been carried out. But he didn't. So that means then that we can now safely assume that at least up until the 28th March, that no second, independent autopsy was ever performed on Bob Woolmer.

So, after delivering their bold, definitive statement of the 28th March why did the Jamaican police then change their minds (again) and call in esteemed pathologists Dr Nat Carey (Home Office), Dr Michael Pollanen (Canada) and Professor Lorna Martin (South Africa)? Well, this excerpt from the The Times of the 15th May may shed no light on why they needed a second opinion - but it does illuminate how they got it:

Reports from the postmortem examination and other material have been examined by Nat Carey, who examined the bodies of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman in the Soham murder case.

Just in case you didn't quite grasp the siginificance of what was said above, here is a similar (recycled!) quote from The Sunday Times of the 20th May (containing a similar, recycled non sequitur):

The postmortem report and photographs were sent to Dr Nat Carey, the British pathologist who examined the victims in the Soham murders and Ipswich killings.

Was Dr Nat Carey sent the wrong autopsy photo's? Did he even notice?

So, Dr Nat Carey et al were only sent Dr Seshaiah Ere's post mortem report (including photographs) which they then reviewed. They sent back their (negative) assessments of Ere's handiwork to the Jamaican authorities who accepted their individual yet strangely identical conclusions (that Woolmer's death was due to 'natural causes' ie a heart attack).

The police opted for the commentaries over the primary text, the counsellors over the practitioner. Lets be quite clear on this point: at no time did Carey et al ever actually perform autopsies on Bob Woolmer.

So, if the Jamaican authorities were so anxious to get (a) 'conclusive' second (and third, fourth, fifth & sixth) autopsy(ies) done by (an) eminent pathologist(s) why did they instead only commission (a) second hand report(s)? The short answer is because they couldn't do anything else. Look at this interesting revelation posted on the Fox Sports website on April 5th last and carried earlier by both Reuters and The Times:

The body of the former England player was taken from Kingston Public Hospital in Jamaica three hours after a post-mortem examination was carried out two weeks ago. It was moved to a Kingston funeral parlour and embalmed an hour later. It is still there.

Winston Roman, who runs the funeral home in Kingston, confirmed yesterday Woolmer's body had been embalmed so that it could be sent to his family in South Africa. He said the police had not objected to embalming, which he said would not preclude a re-examination.

The following extract from the Jamaica Gleaner of the 21st March, in its report of a police press conference held at The Pegasus hotel the previous evening, supports the view that the embalming took place soon after Ere's 'first' autopsy:

Mr. Mir said Mr. Woolmer's body had been sent to a local funeral parlour and arrangements were being made for its shipment to Cape Town, South Africa, via London.

Pakistan Cricket's official spokesman, PJ Mir (centre) and chums: caught on the hop by the speed of Bob's embalming.

So, Woolmer's body was embalmed on the afternoon of the 20th March a few hours after the 'first' autopsy. The embalmed cadaver could indeed be 're-examined' (which it probably was - more on this later) but could it be subjected to another full FORENSIC AUOTPSY? Here's the Fox Sports site again:

Senior British pathologists said yesterday embalming could make a re-examination difficult, especially if there was a risk that the first one was mishandled.

In Britain and Australia a body is not released for embalming by a coroner until investigations are complete.

Nor throughout the United States it would seem if this ruling by Maine's 'Office of the Revisor of Statutes' is anything to go by:

§1404-A. No embalming when autopsy authorized

The next of kin or legal representative of a person who has died may authorize an autopsy. If an autopsy is authorized, no person shall inject into or remove from any artery, vein, or cavity of the body of the person who has died any fluid, gas or other substance except by or with the permission of a pathologist, medical examiner or licensed physician in attendance. [1975, c. 677 (new).]

Was this the real reason why the Jamaican police phoned Gill Woolmer barely half an hour after the 'first' autopsy was concluded: to seek her permission for the embalming of Bob's body? Shades of Paris '97...…

Myocardial Infarction Induction Update (4)

It's looking bad for our Denise. Apparently both her parents hail from the Windies. She used to be a practising lawyer who just happened to switch to 'doing the weather.' Did she wear a revealing outfit like the one below on the morning of the 18th March last?…

Denise Nurse: oestrogen bomb primed to go off when Woolly's testosterone levels were at their peak?

Edited July 4, 2007 by Michael Chapman

[Guest David Guyatt]

The plot thickens. Very interesting, Michael.

David

[Michael Chapman]

.

Edited July 6, 2007 by Michael Chapman

[Michael Chapman]

What’s my line? Read on!

Questions are always there but I'm confident of my ability," he said. "I worked on this post mortem for two hours. I did a complete post mortem and arrived at a cause of death. Then I prepared my report and handed it over to the top police command. I did the best (sic) of my abilities and so did my team. We did our best."

(Dr Sesaiah Ere, Cricinfo Website. 30/3/07)

Well, he would say that wouldn’t he? Of course he wouldn't say he had to do a re examination and that his report was inconclusive and that he was a botcher an' all would he now? You know what these forensic pathologists are like...

So, playing devil's advocate for a minute how exactly did word get out that Ere had botched Woolly's post mortem? Going by the Jamaica Gleaner of the 23rd March it appears that a couple of Ere's mates, a Dr Garfield Blake and Dr Jephthah Ford snitched on him. So what exactly did they think that Dr Ere had got wrong? Here's Dr Blake:

Dr. Garfield Blake, president of the Jamaican Association of Clinical Pathologists, said yesterday that the assessment of the post-mortem report in the death of Pakistan cricket coach, Bob Woolmer, was obviously not handled properly.

"The final conclusion of this being a manual strangulation, I would not expect the first word to be inconclusive," Dr. Blake told The Gleaner yesterday. "Maybe they just didn't handle the thing properly."

Now I don’t want to play amateur forensic pathologist BUT from where I'm standing it looks like Blake was either criticising the way the autopsy report was written or, more likely, presented, rather than Ere's procedures (though he does go on to say that there should be clear cut evidence to back Ere’s conclusion of asphyxia by manual strangulation).

His carefully chosen words may have been due to the fact that at that time he may only have seen a summary of Ere's findings (The Jamaica Gleaner believes that the coroner, Patrick Murphy, only received the full autopsy report from the police on the 28th March). One also has to bear in mind that his remarks are, of necessity, edited. The Jamaica Gleaner seems anxious though to ensure that Blake is seen to give Ere the benefit of the doubt:

Dr. Blake, who is also a consultant pathologist at Cornwall Regional Hospital, said he was yet to speak with Government pathologist Dr. Ere Sheshiah, who conducted the autopsy on Woolmer's body on Tuesday.

He, however, cautioned those who might be criticising Dr. Sheshiah for producing an inconclusive report.

"Probably he (Dr. Sheshiah) has a way of how he operates. Probably he wanted everything, including the toxicology tests results, before he revealed anything," said Dr. Blake.

Whilst Dr Ere’s other 'friend' Dr Jephthah Ford (remember the name!) has separate concerns (one of them being his own questionable assumption that the blood found in Woolmer's vomit should have ended speculation that his death was due to suicide) he too appears mainly troubled by the semantics and poor presentation of Ere's findings:

"On Tuesday when they announced 'inconclusive', I said 'this matter is being badly handled', as there are some things they could say right away," Dr. Ford said.

And what would they be pray?

He continued: "There are certain conclusions that they could have announced, such as his heart was in a good condition, so heart attack is ruled out. They may not be able to say what is the cause of death, but you could say what is not the cause of death."

Well, well, well! As early as the 23rd March expert witness testimony rules out myocardial infarction brought on by excessive exposure to Sky weather girls! So Ere's first hand examination (as revealed by Dr Jephthah Ford) contradicts the second hand findings of eminent home office Pathologist Dr Nat Carey, Professor Lorna Martin and Dr Michael Pollanen which, let me hasten to remind you, were later to be accepted and recorded as the official cause of death by the Jamaican police.

Which brings me nicely to the answer of my 'What's my line’ quiz question:

Forensic Pathologist! (who didn't think Woolly had a heart attack)

Prominent medical doctor Jephthah Ford was released yesterday from the Kingston Public Hospital (KPH), following his alleged beating by police officers on Monday at his Fun Citi entertainment venue in Port Henderson, Portmore, St. Catherine, on Monday.

The incident arose about 4:00 a.m. when Dr. Ford intervened to protect his sister Andrea, 57, who was allegedly being assaulted by security guards at Fun Citi, which she manages.

She sustained minor injuries before he intervened and challenged the guards who identified themselves as police officers who were reportedly moonlighting as employees of the promoters of 'Wet, Wet'. The venue had been hosting that party at the time.

Dr. Ford was allegedly beaten once at the venue, had his firearm taken by police and then twice handcuffed before being driven to the Greater Portmore Police Station. There, he was allegedly beaten again. He was then retrieved, unconscious, by relatives who took him to hospital.

Dr. Ford is scheduled to appear at Spanish Town Gun Court on April 26 to answer charges of illegal possession of firearm and ammunition and assault at common law arising from the incident.

Jamaica Gleaner, Friday April 13th

Edited July 6, 2007 by Michael Chapman

[Michael Chapman]

OK OK OK - so I left out the totty. I would have thought that my 'exclusive' on the recent fate of Dr Jephthah Ford and its possible connection with his unfortunate (but candid) utterances on Dr Seshaiah Ere's autopsy report on Bob Woolmer might have had a calming effect. But it seems raging hormones must be assuaged...

MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION INDUCTION UPDATE (5)

I plum forgot about Sky Sports News which Woolly must have tuned into. Lots of decent dolly birds there - and sport too! SSN regulars will recognize the evergreen lovely below.

Clare Tomlinson: didn't flinch apparently when caught 'in delicto flagrante' with one, Brian Robson, by his less than flagrantly delictitious wife.

Edited July 6, 2007 by Michael Chapman

[Guest David Guyatt]

NEXT MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION INDUCTION UPDATE AND TOTYY REPORT

Overdue?

[Michael Chapman]

Even if I say so myself, I think that I have presented strong evidence that calls into question the key findings of the official autopsies performed on Bob Woolmer by Dr Nat Carey (Home Office Pathologist), Professor Lorna Martin (South Africa) and Dr Michael Pollanen (Canada) because:

(i) their examinations cannot be considered proper autopsies at all (they only reviewed Dr Seshiah Ere’s post mortem report and photographs of the cadaver);

(ii) their opinion that ‘natural’ myocardial infarction was the cause of death stands diametrically opposed to Ere’s own conclusion about the (healthy) condition of Woolmer’s heart at the time of death as reported by another respected local pathologist, Dr Jepthah Ford, who, within a fortnight of his pronouncement, was duly beaten to within an inch of his life (by Jamaican police posing as security guards at his night club) before being arraigned on trumped up charges of illegal gun ownership;

(iii) Jamaican police secretly had Woolmer’s body embalmed on the afternoon immediately following the ‘first’ post mortem in the full knowledge that this would virtually render impossible a proper forensic re examination of the cadaver (though curiously it didn’t seem to prevent them from calling for another autopsy on the very next day).

The pretext for these multiple ‘autopsies’ appears to have been Ere’s (ill considered) use of the word ‘inconclusive’ early on in his report which then went on to deliver an unequivocal opinion on the cause of death (manual strangulation).

We will probably never know exactly what it was that Ere thought had eluded him in his examination. But there is one thing that we can be certain that Ere could not have definitively identified DURING the autopsy: the toxic residue in Woolmer’s stomach. Which brings me nicely to this weeks quiz question:

Was the number of Woolly’s toxicology test ‘findings’ a) higher than b ) lower than or c) the same as the number of his post mortems?

This toxicologist is happy because she has been informed of the result of her test in advance thus preventing an inconclusive finding.

Myocardial Infarction Update (No 6)

I strongly suspect that ‘The Face’ of Sky News could prove to be a bit of a handful in a non fnarr fnarr type way…

Paula Middllehurst: was it Bob's sudden realisation that he would encounter stiff competition for ‘The Face’s’ attentions from her very narcissistic self that addled his aorta?

Edited July 17, 2007 by Michael Chapman