Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 A CAUTIONARY TAIL. Monday 7th January 10am... My Daughter reports that Mr floppy, our resident hampster is no longer in his cage, upon investigation he seems to have disappeared, leaving no trace behind, save his tiny engraved collar, and some droppings. The cage is locked, and the bars unbent. There is, however, a strange metalic aroma, and some trace elements around said cage. The fact that this part of the House is a foundry is, in my view, not relevant Monday 7th Jan 11-20am, Following a good breakfast, and a daily visit visit from the community Psychiatric Nurse, I began my investigations. I started in the garden looking for any traces of an escape route, or tiny hairs snagged on rose bushes. During this fruitless search my attention was taken by the noise of an airoplane flying directly above, upon looking up I noticed it was producing a broard contrail, that showed no signs of dispersing, indeed, there were already several of these phenomina in a criss-cross pattern. VERY STRANGE. Monday 7th Jan 11-30am, (NOTE TO SELF, STOP OVERFEEDING CAT, HE DOES NOTHING BUT SLEEP IN THE GARDEN ALL DAY!) Monday 7th Jan 2-00pm,, Following a nap, which was repeatedly broken by the sound of Aircraft taking off, and landing at nearby Heathrow, I decided to employ that unempeachable source of human knowledge, the internet in my continuing research. Upon logging on, and typing the words "CONTRAILS HAMPSTERS STRANGE DISAPPEARENCE" into my favorite search engine, I was offered thousands of sites, I was right something is afoot. Monday 7th Jan 2-15pm I have completed my exhaustive research, and the results are truely terrifying. The phenomina I witnessed are called not contrails, but rather CHEMTRAILS, it appears that thousands of military aircraft around the World are, for reasons no one can quite fathom, spraying the atmoshphere with chemicals which blot out the sky by causing a cirrus like cloud formation, and then, for reasons no one can quite fathom, fall to the ground and give everyone a really nasty head cold, with aching limbs and everything. it now appears to me that this miasma can also dissolve small rodents. TO BE CONTINUED. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Drago Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 It appears you've been spending entirely too much time playing with Mr. Floppy. A Friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 It appears you've been spending entirely too much time playing with Mr. Floppy.A Friend I shall ignore all such attempts at DISINFORMATION. Particularly crude sexual inuendoes, I'm sure the viagra will kick in shortly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gary Loughran Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Stephen, firstly let me offer hearty condolences on your loss. Have your investigations taken in the possibility of an alternative hypothesis - Spontaneous Hampster (I just love this spelling)Combustion. This has been known to spontaneoulsy combust hampsters (who'd have thought). It might explain the lack of anything Mr Floppy like being found at the scene of the mysterious incident. Apparently though, Hampsters are a value commodity in 'Egypt' - when taken in conjunction with your brothers alleged visits - is it possible he has ferreted your hampster away for personal gain. I hope none of the petshop boys live near you either - else it is altogether possible Mr Floppy is now toothless - allegedly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Stephen, firstly let me offer hearty condolences on your loss.Have your investigations taken in the possibility of an alternative hypothesis - Spontaneous Hampster (I just love this spelling)Combustion. This has been known to spontaneoulsy combust hampsters (who'd have thought). It might explain the lack of anything Mr Floppy like being found at the scene of the mysterious incident. Apparently though, Hampsters are a value commodity in 'Egypt' - when taken in conjunction with your brothers alleged visits - is it possible he has ferreted your hampster away for personal gain. I hope none of the petshop boys live near you either - else it is altogether possible Mr Floppy is now toothless - allegedly. Gary, as always your common sense approach to problem solving is very welcome, no wild speculation from you young man. I shall subtlely question my Brother upon the possibilities of international hamster smuggling when the opportunity presents itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Thank you Steve. I'm sure glad you brought this up!Having recently been interested in chemtrails, esp. in the fact that there are none in China(of course, China will also not export fossils, what does that tell you?) Anyway, I had heard a rumor, by Golly, regarding our dear Walt Disney, and it's true. Chems are seen in the Disney movie, "Cars." I was absolutely shocked! This little addition to the movie also implies to me that Disney is well aware of them and their effects. Then I began to consider that if one knew, one would take every opportunity to alleviate them from one's surroundings. After all, WDW and all parks Disney, should be places where the inhabitants "feel good." You wouldn't want visitors to become ill there, so, what, I wondered, does Disney do to keep chemtrails out of the park atmosphere? The answer was easy, after I done some more diggin.' It seems that these ungodly mists can be dissipated by use of a device called an "orgone generator-" This produces CHI, which is critical for "chem' busting. The generator is in the pyramid or conical shape, and from that it was a snap to identify where the Disney Orgone Generator is: Now, for folks who have chemtrails, and not enough income to create energy producing masterpieces as seen above, all is not lost!!! To rid your surroundings of these or other negativities, there are do it yourself, step-by-step instructions on how to build a "Holy Hand Grenade" (HHg) http://educate-yourself.org/dc/HHGconstruction10jan02.shtml OR For those who are mechanically challenged--good news!!! These can also be disspelled by mantras!!! http://educate-yourself.org/lte/kimshomerun15apr05.shtml (What an informative website-WOW!) From the above link, there is a mantra that evidently is getting good results!!! "No more Chemtrails,.. not today Make the Chemtrails,.. go away They will not stick, they will not stay This will be a blue sky day." By Kim Olson (Cadence changed to this by the editor.(See link) Hope this helps you, Steve. kathy, all to late for poor Mr floppy I'm afraid. But some good and sensible suggestions. i'm sure some company has worked there is profit to be made in this area, I daily await the advertisement alerting me to Haliburtons "Chem-be-gone" or some such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest David Guyatt Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 (edited) No disrespect intended, but yours is an utterly preposterous hypothesis. Chemtrails do not kidnap hamsters. Chemtrails cannot kidnap hamsters. They are simply noxious chemicals designed by our military-politico-industrial-organised crime masters to befuddle our brains (if you ever needed proof that they work just read this thread! hah!) that are released (and then float) in the upper atmosphere -- at cirrus height or above. Ergo, 20,000 feet and above. UFO's kidnapped your hamster, O foolish one. If you ever bother to read up on UFO's -- and you clearly haven't bothered -- you will instantly know a number of unassailable facts. For example, there is massive unassailable proof that, in the 1960's and 70's, UFO's regularly abducted American cattle. But only Amercian cattle. Not only that, but UFO occupants then used their advanced alien knowledge to surgically eviscerate cattle using advanced alien laser technology. They then dumped said eviscerated cattle back into the middle of the big country. Namely, the Three Willie Ranch in Utah. Since technology is, every day, reducing and minaturising in size, it stands to reason that the cunning aliens will also miniaturise and thereby reduce the size of their victims (after all our advanced technology was inadvertantly donated by crashed aliens at Roswell, New Mexico -- even you must know that...). See where I'm going? The deductive trail is obvious and clear. Nowadays, instead of kisnapping cattle, they kidnap hamsters. In the 1990's it was dogs and cats. In the decade beginning 2010 it will be mice. In the decade beginning 2050 it will be amoeba. In the decade following 2070, they will disappear up their own *rse. And good riddance, too. I never did like the colour green, nor thin gaggly critters with boogey eyes and suckers on the end of their webbed four fingers. As far as I'm concerned they can b*gg*r orf back to the far orf alien planet known as Whitehall. Which is host to a number of utterly ugly alien life forms. All of whom have noticeably strange and unintentionally exotic haircuts. Because they're aliens... Edited January 10, 2008 by David Guyatt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 No disrespect intended, but yours is an utterly preposterous hypothesis.Chemtrails do not kidnap hamsters. Chemtrails cannot kidnap hamsters. They are simply noxious chemicals designed by our military-politico-industrial-organised crime masters to befuddle our brains (if you ever needed proof that they work just read this thread! hah!) that are released (and then float) in the upper atmosphere -- at cirrus height or above. Ergo, 20,000 feet and above. UFO's kidnapped your hamster, O foolish one. If you ever bother to read up on UFO's -- and you clearly haven't bothered -- you will instantly know a number of unassailable facts. For example, there is massive unassailable proof that, in the 1960's and 70's, UFO's regularly abducted American cattle. But only Amercian cattle. Not only that, but UFO occupants then used their advanced alien knowledge to surgically eviscerate cattle using advanced alien laser technology. They then dumped said eviscerated cattle back into the middle of the big country. Namely, the Three Willie Ranch in Utah. Since technology is, every day, reducing and minaturising in size, it stands to reason that the cunning aliens will also miniaturise and thereby reduce the size of their victims (after all our advanced technology was inadvertantly donated by crashed aliens at Roswell, New Mexico -- even you must know that...). See where I'm going? The deductive trail is obvious and clear. Nowadays, instead of kisnapping cattle, they kidnap hamsters. In the 1990's it was dogs and cats. In the decade beginning 2010 it will be mice. In the decade beginning 2050 it will be amoeba. In the decade following 2070, they will disappear up their own *rse. And good riddance, too. I never did like the colour green, nor thin gaggly critters with boogey eyes and suckers on the end of their webbed four fingers. As far as I'm concerned they can b*gg*r orf back to the far orf alien planet known as Whitehall. Which is host to a number of utterly ugly alien life forms. All of whom have noticeably strange and unintentionally exotic haircuts. Because they're aliens... Oh dear, David's been at the Mothers ruin again. The title of the thread is "Chemtrails ATE my hampster" not "Chemtrails KIDNAPPED my hampster" My hypothosis, such as it is, (its brilliant actually, and throughly researched) is that Mr Floppy was completely disloved by the noxious character of what ever heavy metal makes up a chemtrail, and as you know Sir, I suspect them to be at least one third poriddge in nature. Sorry I must break off, the cat has just vomited in the living room, seems to be a mixture of fur and bones, the bloody creature will eat anything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Sorry I must break off, the cat has just vomited in the living room, seems to be a mixture of fur and bones, the bloody creature will eat anything! Steve, What does this tell you?? Chemtrails are making your cat sick, too. Where is Dave Greer when you need him? On closer inspection of the cats intestinal uproar I have located several tiny "claw" like appendages. this can only mean that part of a chemtrails make is organic, possibly animal in nature, perhaps an Egyptian scarab bettle? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew Lewis Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 No, no, no. The Chemtrails are genetically altering your cat into another creature and your cat is rejecting the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 No, no, no. The Chemtrails are genetically altering your cat into another creature and your cat is rejecting the process. Matthew, I fear you are not taking this matter seriously. Either that or this is a hamfisted attempt to hinder my research, shame on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack White Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Ridicule is one of the textbook tactics recommended to provocateurs by the famous CIA memo. Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Ridicule is one of the textbook tactics recommended to provocateurs by the famous CIA memo.Jack Classic, it never fails. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack White Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Your hamster is likely playing this celestial game of Tic-Tac-Toe in the grid laid by the chemtrail planes. Ridiculing serious research is not appropriate on this forum, especially by moderators. Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stephen Turner Posted January 10, 2008 Share Posted January 10, 2008 Your hamster is likely playing this celestial game of Tic-Tac-Toe in thegrid laid by the chemtrail planes. Ridiculing serious research is not appropriate on this forum, especially by moderators. Jack I shall report myself to Andy walker, forthwidth. meanwhile back to the hamster mystery. The cats looking a little better, and has managed a small saucer of warm milk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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