Gittinger's Great Adventure

[John Ritchson]

Greetings Everyone:

Many if not most of you on this forum are at least aware of Ted Gittinger, the curator of the LBJ Library at UT Austin, and frequent haunter of the alt.conspiracy.jfk newsgroup, and my old nemesis. So I thought I'd repost a Joke I recently posted on that NG for your amusement. If anyone finds it offensive I will cease and desist any further such postings on this forum.

John, Andy, let me know if I'm crossing the line here but I think it's pretty funny

and I mean no real harm here, but I'm working on a theme and there is some ultimate method to my madness as it were which will ultimately bear relevence to the JFK murder.

I'd just like to run it by some of you all who don't get over to the NGs for the sake of a little levity.

Respectfully:

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Gittinger's Great Adventure:

It appears the great Hauptman himself came up here to Montana to

reconoiter, probably in search of a bitch wolf of his very own since he

seems so fixated on bitch wolves, and found himself riding in a SUV

with a Cuban, a Russian and an old Indian on the old road into the Yaak

just north of Libby.

While riding the Russian pulled out a bottle of Stoly, cracked it open

and took a single pull on the bottle and threw it out of the window.

Teddy said, "what the hell did you just throw a good bottle of vodka

away after only having a single drink?" Upon which the Russian replied,

"we have so much vodka that we don't need to take more than the

[Angel's Share]."

After a while the Cuban took out a hand-rolled Supremo, lit it up,

took one hit and threw it out of the window. Teddy said, "now this is

getting crazy, why in the hell would you throw away a $50.00 cigar

after a single puff?" Upon which the Cuban replied, "we produce so much

good tobacco in Cuba that I only need to take one puff."

Well, a few miles later the old Indian threw Teddy out of the window.

So Herr Hauptman had to walk the rest of the way into the Yaak and

when he got there he swaggered into the Dirty Shame Saloon where he

proceeded to berate the barkeep on how uncivilized all the local yokals

were because they didn't stock Lone Star Beer and had to settle for

Moose Drool lager on tap.

After having a couple Ol' teddy quite naturally started bragging on

how he as the epitome of Texas manhood could out ride, out rope, out

drink and out fight every swinging d*ck in the whole place.

Well the barkeep soon got tired of Teddy's bullsh*t and said, "listen

up Ol' Hoss, you ain't in Texas now you're in Montana and talk is cheap

around here and if you want anyone to take mind of anything you say

you're going to have to prove yourself with actions not words!" Well

Ol' Teddy said, "name it and I'll by god do it better'n anyone around

this joint!"

The barkeep said, "alright then, first you got to chug this whole 5th

of rotgut in one gulp, then you got to go out and wrestle a Grizzel

Bear and when you're done you've got to come back here and make

passionate love to that old Indian Squaw over at the end of the bar."

Teddy said, "hell that's almost too easy," and proceeded to down the

whiskey and left the saloon in search of a Grizzly Bear. After a few

hours had passed the Hauptman staggered back into the saloon all tore

to hell, I mean his clothes were shredded with huge bloody gashes all

over his body, staggered up to the bar and said, "alright, now, where's

that goddarned squaw I'm supposed to Wrestle?"

The point of this little dissertation being, if you happen to be

driving down some lonesome highway and see a hat and a boot on the

road, try not to hit it because it's probably Ted Gittinger with all of

the Bull-Sh*t kicked out of him.

Warmest Regards,

John Ritchson

P.S. the next installment will be "Gittinger's Revenge by Claud Bawls."

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Edited February 18, 2005 by John Ritchson

[Shanet Clark]

Your name is going on a list, young man, you have no respect for authority...