John Simkin Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 In June the House of Commons saw the second reading of the Religious Hatred Bill. The wording of the bill is not very precise and so it will be difficult to define what religious hatred means. The comedian Rowan Atkinson has criticised the bill arguing that it will mean those who poke fun at religion will risk prosecution. Stephen Tomkins, the author of “A Short History of Christianity” has attempted to test out this new legislation by establishing a website called Ship of Fools. It provides some jokes that may become illegal after the passing of the Religious Hatred bill. http://www.shipoffools.com/ A few that I liked: (1) Dyslexic Insomniac Atheist Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac atheist? He lies awake at night wondering if there is a Dog. (2) Paedophile What do you give a paedophile who has everything? A bigger parish (3) Lord’s Prayer A marketing consultant hired at KFC got an audience with the Pope and offered him a million dollars if he would change the Lord's Prayer from "give us this day our daily bread," to "give us this day our daily chicken". The Pope refused the offer. Two weeks later the consultant offered 10 million, but the Pope refused again. Another week later the offer was increased to 20 million. The Pope accepted. The following day the Pope briefed his staff. "I have some good news and some bad news," he said. "The good news is that we have just received 20 million dollars. The bad news is that we've lost the Hovis account." (4) Confession Michael took Kevin along with him to confession for moral support. Kevin waited in the pews while Michael approached the confessional. "Forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman." "Ah Michael," sighed the priest, "you have grieved the Holy Spirit. Tell me, was it Mary McCarthy?" "I can't tell you, father," answered Michael, "I promised I wouldn't say, but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman." "Michael, this is not what you have been taught by Mother Church. Was it Sinead O'Rourke?" "I can't say, father, I promised I wouldn't, but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman." "Ah, Michael, your poor mother and father would be heartbroken to know this. I wonder, was it Philomena Donnelly?" "I can't tell you, father, I promised, forgive me, I have been with a woman." "Michael, my son, I harboured such high hopes for you when you were an altar boy. Tell me, was it Therese Murphy?" "Father, I can't say, I promised, forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman." The priest pronounced, "Michael, you must say 50 Our Fathers and 30 Hail Marys." "Thank you, father," a relieved Michael acknowledged, and went back to the pews where his mate Kevin was waiting. "Michael, Michael, what did the father say?" "He gave me 50 Our Fathers, 30 Hail Marys and four good leads." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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