Forum Rule Against Swearing

[Guest Gary Loughran]

I found the Scandinavian countries by far the most polite. Perhaps that is a product of until 100 years or so ago, come winter, everyone hunkered down together for months indoors.

I agree, however, I don't think it has anything to do with the weather. The people of Denmark are also very polite.

I have also found Australians polite in a matey sort of way. They remind me of the working-class community that I was brought up in. In England we seem to have lost this. A lot of Aussie immigrants also came from this working-class background. Maybe, because of their laid-back lifestyle, they have retained this style of behaviour.

From the BBC - Happy talking

Is it an indication of the British psyche that clean public transport is described as ominous?

Danes are the happiest people in Europe, a survey suggests. But what is the secret of their contentedness?

Something is markedly unrotten in the state of Denmark.

Asked to rate both their happiness and long-term life satisfaction, Danish people trounce their European cousins.

Many in Denmark put this regularly-surveyed contentedness down to a dynamic economy and a pleasant work-life balance, with people leaving the office on time, jumping on effective public transport and heading off to pick up their delightful children from a shiny, well-run kindergarten.

But there are others out to savage the myth of the happy Dane, arguing that low expectations of life account for their unusually happy disposition.

THE ANSWER

To be well off, have a better work-life balance and good public services, and, possibly, to lower our expectations

Britons getting unhappier

Kevin McGwin, from Maine in the US, works on the Copenhagen Post newspaper, and is well-used to surveys suggesting the Danish love of life. It could all be down to a pleasant quality of life, he suggests.

"Denmark is very consumer-oriented and very family-oriented. People are sure to leave work at 4.30pm. They work their eight hours and go home. Pressure to work overtime doesn't exist."

Denmark has a 37-hour week. Parents get 52 weeks of maternity/paternity leave to be shared between them - 24 weeks is usually at full pay, with the rest often at as much as 90% pay. Much of it can be spread over the first nine years of the child's life. Childcare is subsidised with no parent being asked to pay more than 25% of the cost.

WHO, WHAT, WHY?

A regular feature in the BBC News Magazine - aiming to answer some of the questions behind the headlines

Danish ambassador to London Birger Riis-Jorgensen says he doesn't find it surprising Danes rate themselves as happy.

"In other parts of Europe globalisation is perceived as a threat. For Danes, 78% think globalisation is an opportunity.

"We have high taxes but we have generous unemployment benefits, a lot of life-long learning. We feel secure and we feel that we have opportunities.

"We have a lot of faith in government as an institution. The authorities are normally competent, uncorrupt and approachable."

Public transport is ominously clean

Danes fundamentally believe their state is well run, Mr Riis-Jorgensen says, but citizens are still capable of complaining when there are problems with public services.

"If 5% of trains are running late it is a political problem."

And the safe streets of Copenhagen can be a surprise to foreign visitors.

"When foreigners are finding out they can safely let their children bike to school in the suburbs of Copenhagen they get pretty amazed."

But a study by the University of Southern Denmark earlier this year found success in happiness surveys might be down to low expectations.

Fears not realised

Researcher Kaare Christensen looked back over three decades of surveys that had created the legend of the "happy Dane".

"In countries such as Italy and Spain, people have much higher expectations for what the coming year will bring, but they're not especially happy or satisfied with their existence."

But Danes take a more realistic view of life, he suggested at the time.

"Year after year we're just happy that things didn't go as badly as we'd feared."

And even McGwin, who is married to a Dane, is sceptical that Danes' happiness is all its cracked up to be.

"The weather here is pretty lousy and half the year it's dark. They are as depressed as Hamlet some days."

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Edited April 17, 2007 by Gary Loughran

[Charles Black]

Being a long time father and now a grandfather, I can agree that swear words on this forum should be discouraged. However, I feel that children do not have to be engaged on the intenet in order to hear much worse swearwords on TV or from an older brother or sister in another room. But I am willing to do my part with "words".

Now, if I may refer to just the adult members; it should be well known by this group that swear words are not needed if one wants to insult or degrade another. This type of of abuser, if highly qualified, can far more deeply hurt an individual than a few mere swear words, that even the mentally incognizant seem able to master.

Since we have again been drawn to the subject of "Culture", I have personally observed both in Europe and here in the Colonies, that the English are, by far, more adept at the false arrogance and abuse which they seem to feel is a "birthright" of their culture. They attempt to wittingly slash at people while keeping their hands clean.

On this side of the pond, it is often looked at as not very witty and far more abusive than the mention of a swear word.

I will none the less attempt not to swear....but if one merely picks up a modern dictionary, words much more repugnant than anything that I have heard on this forum will be found throughout. I am not particularly proud of it, but I couldn't count the number of times that I have told "my own" to "go and look for it in the dictionary."

Why is the word "harlot" considered by some to be not swearing, while the word "whore" is generally considered improper?

Is damning and going to hell, which in the Bible has a literal meaning, better than its "slang" modern meaning, which in reality, does not wish one to be either "truly damned" or "sent to hell"?

I will attempt to abide by all of the forum rules,

but my American cultural deficit makes it extremely difficult!

Charlie Black

P.S. I suppose that the majority of the "swearers" are "colonials" !

[John Simkin]

But there are others out to savage the myth of the happy Dane, arguing that low expectations of life account for their unusually happy disposition.

There is an old saying that "if you can't have what you desire, desire what you have".

[Terry Mauro]

Female members should feel free to PM me when they want to talk dirty. I will always be here for you.

************************************************************

Spoken like a true "Yank."

Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's off to work I go!

_____________________________________________________

And, for Charlie. We'll always be considered as "those bloody, bullying, aggressive colonial upstarts, from across 'the pond.' "

See ya later.

Edited April 17, 2007 by Terry Mauro

[Guest Gary Loughran]

But there are others out to savage the myth of the happy Dane, arguing that low expectations of life account for their unusually happy disposition.

There is an old saying that "if you can't have what you desire, desire what you have".

Unfortunately, this seems to explain, too well, that other old saying "The Happy Hammers" ...

Edited April 17, 2007 by Gary Loughran

[John Simkin]

Female members should feel free to PM me when they want to talk dirty. I will always be here for you.

Would you like to make this official. The forum could really do with someone like you. This is not just a gender problem. Are you willing to accept approaches from male members.

[Ron Ecker]

Are you willing to accept approaches from male members.

No, somehow dirty talk from males just isn't the same. It's the ladies whom I want to help.

[Mark Stapleton]

full edit.

Edited April 17, 2007 by Mark Stapleton

[Frank Agbat]

I remember girls like you from schooldays, Myra.

You sat at the back of class, giggled a lot, told great jokes, popped bubble gum when teacher's back was turned (and sometimes stuck it under the desk), had the best parties and my mum warned me about you.

Now I know what happened when you grew up

It was worse for me. I taught (or did not teach) dozens of girls like Myra. The main aim was to be the centre of attention. Being told off was what they wanted.

OOoooooo John, you knooooow what I want. I want to be disciplined by a stern British schoolmaster 'cause I talk dirty. Tell me I'm a naughty naughty girl...

Spank me John.

I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that the volunteer spirit of this forum has not stepped forward.

John is a VERY busy man and simply cannot be expected to handle everything. I certainly do not mean to construe that he is in any way unable (or even unwilling) to competently perform all duties that befall a forum leader. However, I am aware that from time to time, there may be aspects of this duty that need to be dispensed to willing volunteers...

I was so inspired by Ron's volunteer spirit, that should such a time arise where the above request cannot be diligently handled directly by John, I would be willing to provide the assistance necessary. Accent and all.

[John Simkin]

I remember girls like you from schooldays, Myra.

You sat at the back of class, giggled a lot, told great jokes, popped bubble gum when teacher's back was turned (and sometimes stuck it under the desk), had the best parties and my mum warned me about you.

Now I know what happened when you grew up

It was worse for me. I taught (or did not teach) dozens of girls like Myra. The main aim was to be the centre of attention. Being told off was what they wanted.

OOoooooo John, you knooooow what I want. I want to be disciplined by a stern British schoolmaster 'cause I talk dirty. Tell me I'm a naughty naughty girl...

Spank me John.

I'm shocked, SHOCKED, that the volunteer spirit of this forum has not stepped forward.

John is a VERY busy man and simply cannot be expected to handle everything. I certainly do not mean to construe that he is in any way unable (or even unwilling) to competently perform all duties that befall a forum leader. However, I am aware that from time to time, there may be aspects of this duty that need to be dispensed to willing volunteers...

I was so inspired by Ron's volunteer spirit, that should such a time arise where the above request cannot be diligently handled directly by John, I would be willing to provide the assistance necessary. Accent and all.

Thank you for this offer. You can become the official spanker.

[Ron Ecker]

You can become the official spanker.

Let me know if I can lend a hand.

[Charles Black]

Ladies:

I, obviously being more sincere, empathic and humanitarian than some of the preceeding posters, would like to state, since so many "spankers" are available, that I would like to lend my help in another manner.

I would like to offer assistance in treating those

potentially red and burning "spank marks". I offer to gently administer a soothing and loving relief

to those areas in need, which might be inappropriate to mention on this particular thread.......since children may be present.

I am a sincere good Samaritan ! A true "Keeper of the Faith," doing good work as I continue to "walk the earth".

Charlie Black

[Frank Agbat]

You can become the official spanker.

Let me know if I can lend a hand.

Oh -- the pun opportunities are endless ---

If too many projects fall into my lap, I'll certainly call on you to lend a hand...

(For the record, John, my volunteering is limited in the same way as is Ron's.)

And Charlie -- well done! The spirit is alive and well. (okay, it is alive -- not so sure about well).

[William O'Neil]

Hmmm, Man.....for a minute there I thought I was on myspace.com

[Myra Bronstein]

Is this a great forum or what? I'm simply overwhelmed by the response to my predicament.

As you all know, fully half of my vocabulary consists of profanity. Therefore the new moratorium on swearing has hobbled me, and I'm in the midst of a painful period of adjustment. I'm so grateful to those who have selflessly given of themselves to suggest remedies and make accommodations for my special needs. It demonstrates how well we can function as a team, or by pairing off as some have suggested.

There are so many to thank... Where to begin?

Well gosh, first I'd like to thank Ron for his selfless offer, or I should say offers, given his adorable persistence. And Frank, a man so dear that he's willing to extend himself for someone he barely knows. And Terry! My soul sister Terry. Willing to fall on her sword for me, to sacrifice herself so that I may be spared. I'm genuinely touched. Both Terry and John D. said the nicest things. While that's not in the same category as Ron's and Frank's offers, it's still appreciated.

And of course John S. and Antti, without whom none of this would be possible. Not to mention my muse--Kathy. Thank you all. Yet there are still more: Sid, for remembering--not actually remembering me personally but close enough. Thomas, for the sincerity that is his trademark.

Thank you Greg for being the lone adult voice of reason and trying to put a stop to this absurdity. Thank you everyone else for ignoring Greg.

Gary, many thanks for deftly changing the subject and almost getting me off the hook. Charles, for reminding everyone of the subject and getting things right back on track. Mark, for the wisdom you showed in deleting your post. If only we could all be that wise...

Then there's William. Who took valuable time away from his activities on myspace.com to be here for me. What can I say about such generosity? That's time he'll never ever get back.

As a result of this outpouring, I am inundated with offers, many more offers than I can possibly entertain. Therefore I have decided to accept resumes from candidates so I can learn more about your special qualifications. Please include a cover letter with your resume explaining why you are the right person to talk dirty to, and/or to dispense spanking. I also require three references--not immediate family members (ewwww). Finalists will be contacted. For those who are not contacted, I'll keep your resumes (that's "CV" for you Europeans) on file for 12 months. Resumes, or CVs, should be submitted to likethiswouldeverreallyhappen@inyourdreams.com.

Thank you again.

This gives new meaning to the phrase "hands across the world."

Myra