Cory Santos Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) 18 hours ago, James DiEugenio said: You know the funniest lawyer joke I ever heard was from Lamar Hunt. He said: My definition of a tragedy is when a bus load of lawyers goes over a cliff and there's one empty seat. No, there are better ones. That joke goes, what do you call a shame? A bus full of lawyers goes over a cliff. What do you call a crying shame? One of the seats is empty. BTW, Garrision, JFK Jr., RFK all lawyers. Edited February 11, 2019 by Cory Santos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cory Santos Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) Here Jim, three professionals are on a flight to the keys for a fishing trip. The plane goes down. The three men and the pilot escape onto the wing which had separated. They decide to kick there way back to Florida. All of a sudden, a shark comes up and eats the pilot. Two of the men become terrified, the one guy is fine. Then another shark comes up and takes one of them an hour later. One of the two survivors starts screaming, crying, praying for help. As other sharks come close, he kicks them as hard as he can to keep them away. They never attack the other guy. They eventually make it back to the shore. The one guy says, why were you so calm, why were you not scared. The guy smiles, rubs his chin and says, well, see I am a lawyer. The man says... SO WHAT? why did the sharks not attack you. He smiles and says "professional courtesy". Edited February 11, 2019 by Cory Santos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Bulman Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 25 minutes ago, Cory Santos said: Here Jim, three professionals are on a flight to the keys for a fishing trip. The plane goes down. The three men and the pilot escape onto the wing which had separated. They decide to kick there way back to Florida. All of a sudden, a shark comes up and eats the pilot. Two of the men become terrified, the one guy is fine. Then another shark comes up and takes one of them an hour later. One of the two survivors starts screaming, crying, praying for help. As other sharks come close, he kicks them as hard as he can to keep them away. They never attack the other guy. They eventually make it back to the shore. The one guy says, why were you so calm, why were you not scared. The guy smiles, rubs his chin and says, well, see I am a lawyer. The man says... SO WHAT? why did the sharks not attack you. He smiles and says "professional courtesy". Nixon. But what has this to do with the WaPo article on Lisa's book? Other than Dick's brother Don meeting Maheu in Vegas the morning after RFK died and opening conversation with "well that p r I c k ' s dead".? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Prutsok Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 What happens when lawyers take Viagra? They get taller. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James DiEugenio Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 Now that is a really good one Andrew. Ron, we are taking a bit of a break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terry Adams Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 Abraham Lincoln was quoted during the height of the civil war , at a cabinet meeting, saying; “Gentlemen, why don’t you laugh? With the fearful strain that is upon me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die, and you need this medicine as much as I do.” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James DiEugenio Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 14 hours ago, Cory Santos said: No, there are better ones. That joke goes, what do you call a shame? A bus full of lawyers goes over a cliff. What do you call a crying shame? One of the seats is empty. BTW, Garrision, JFK, RFK all lawyers. Cory, JFK was not a lawyer. And you can actually tell in the transcripts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James DiEugenio Posted February 11, 2019 Author Share Posted February 11, 2019 BTW, I should add, as many as possible should follow Joe McBride's lead and write or comment upon this story by Tom Jackman. Maybe both. Write a note to Tom congratulating him and encouraging him to do even more. And then add a comment down below the story. I can tell you right now the other side does not like this kind of thing. My info is that the first person who called the Post about this story was none other than Gus Russo. You know the consultant to the likes of Tom Brokaw, the late Peter Jennings, and Dan Rather on the JFK case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cory Santos Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 3 hours ago, James DiEugenio said: Cory, JFK was not a lawyer. And you can actually tell in the transcripts. LOl, I see I should not be allowed to post when tired at night. I meant JFK, Jr. Thanks Jim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Bulman Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Maybe old honest Abe was right. At least he could laugh at his own profession. I take the subject too seriously I guess. Why I used to take breaks from it for several months after new years for several years. Why do lawyers wear neckties? To keep the foreskin from crawling up their neck. What's the difference in a jellyfish and a lawyer? Ones a spineless poisonous blob and one's a form of sea life. How are an apple and a lawyer alike? Both look good hanging in a tree. How can a pregnant woman tell she's carrying a future lawyer? Uncontrollable craving for bologna. How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. What looks really good on a lawyer? A Doberman. How many lawyer jokes are there? Three, the rest are all true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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